And work recommences...

Howdy folks!
                             Well, I'm relieved and pleased to announce that work has recommenced in The Doghouse. The studio is now fully roofed (thank you, Mr Spitzer), insulated and, as such, is warm and dry. The Cat is working at a gentle pace as she recovers her health. Here's the proof...

 

   I do believe we're moving forward now. There's stock on the shelves! So our little acorn will be ready for planting on the 31st!

My regards to you all,

Frank

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Getting there...

Howdy folks!

                    Well, what a chaotic time it has been. Much has changed since my last blog post. The Cat is still recovering from her ill health. It will take a while so I, and the bird, have been insisting that she rests as much as possible. That has been easier said than done when there's been so much to do.

Neither the cat or the bird...but the sentiment is correct

   The shed is now a studio, (affectionately named 'The Doghouse'). The roof has been expertly felted by Mr Dominik Spitzer. He was such a star, out in the garden with a blow torch in the bucketing rain. He's done a fine job, and we're confident that it's well and truly waterproofed now. 

  The studio has also been 90% insulated. The cat and the bird caught a mint green sheep made from recycled plastic bottles, which was discovered wandering about in a local DIY store. They've lined the walls with this peculiar fleece and so far it seems warm and toasty in there. 

     Skylar Le Callen and Markus Wehrhahn were kind enough to give up their time and energies to help empty the old studio. With the help of the weary cat they managed the task in just a few hours. 

    The following day there was some tidying up to be done, and a few bits and pieces to be collected. But it gave the cat and the bird the opportunity to say goodbye to their time with the old studio. I think they were quite surprised at how sad they were to be leaving. They can't fault their time in Forest Hill at the Whirled Arts studios, but, sadly, good things aren't always practical. Huge thanks to Mike and Lee, you were both fantastic with your support.

   The majority of the contents of The Doghouse have been sorted out. The minority remain in the back of the van, waiting patiently for relocation to their new home. Very soon it will be a hive of productivity out there. Unfortunately, what with all this recent rain, the back door of the flat has swollen shut. Luckily it's a stable door so the top half still opens. This unexpected obstacle, at the very least, makes the commute to work 'interesting'. Oh, but such a laugh I had watching the cat and the bird climb over the stuck half of the door. Next time I will try and get photographs of this peculiar natural event. I don't think she especially appreciated me suggesting that she just fly over it, but the bird's attempt at door climbing really did remind me of Hannibal taking his elephants over the Alps. 

  

 So what else is new with Catbird Craft?

  Well...the business cards have arrived! The first of them were left in Catbird Craft's favourite fish and chip shop. I'm really not sure what this says about Catbird Craft; but it is fair to say that during this extremely busy time, that particular fish shop has saved them from starvation on more than one occasion.

   If that isn't exciting enough, the first of our greetings cards have also arrived. There are a few more designs due to go to the printers, (who have been super helpful indeed). This means that there will definitely be something ready for the grand opening on October 31st. 

We're definitely getting there!

My regards to you all,

Frank

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The great erection

Howdy folks!

         Well, it has to be said that when the cat and the bird say they're going to do something, generally speaking, they do it...albeit with a little of help from their friends. 
  

      Yes, people - last Wednesday morning the doorbell rang and phase two of this operation swung into action. The cat and the bird may have still been semi conscious (they're really not adapted for early mornings) but they were awake enough to sigh a momentous sigh of relief. They realised that they weren't going to have to drag large shed panels through the (grumpy) builders merchant yard, and over the back wall. Thanks to the patron saint of shed building, the panels fitted through the flat, and all with a minimal amount of cursing. Once they'd gotten over the shock of their new arrival, last Wednesday afternoon was spent painting the panels that would be unreachable once assembly was completed.

    Then arrived last Thursday morning, when the fun really did commence. The instructions to the shed said, 'Stay calm, and seek further assistance.' This advice before you've even begun doesn't overly inspire. However, with huge thanks to Dom and Corrie, as the day progressed the shed also progressed. By nightfall, we had something that resembled a shed. Complete with roof, doors, and windows that appear to be made of clingfilm. Needless to say, new windows will be fitted at some point.
  The roof felting is almost finished, and the task of insulating has begun. Once all that is complete, the shed will be a studio!

A wall with a big hole in it

We have walls

We have a roof

Knackered, but job complete

We're getting there, and I of course will keep everyone up to date with further progress. It's getting exciting now!

My regards to you all,

Frank

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In sickness & in health...

Howdy folks,

                     
               You may, or may not, have noticed that I've been rather quiet this week. You may think that I've been slacking off, just resting my bones. But I haven't. This week both the cat and the bird, for different reasons, have been unwell, especially the cat. The timing could have been better; the contents of the old studio have to be moved into the new studio before the end of the week. So, as any good friend would do, I've been nursing them back to health to ensure that they meet their deadline. My baking must be pleasing to them because they both seem remarkably better. The cat will have to take it easy for a while, and I will be there to make sure that she does.

Medical care in Nunhead

Hopefully, we're back on track now, and progress will be swift from here on in.

Right, time for me to take the cat's temperature again.

Regards to you all,

Frank

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Crazy Pavers

Howdy folks!
    
      Frank here! Well it's been quite an eventful weekend. The cat and the bird are fortunate enough to be blessed with many fabulous friends. Thankfully three of them were available and willing to give up their Sunday to help them finish the leveling and laying of paving slabs. Such friends are worth their weight in cake and gold.

    We much enjoyed homemade courgette cake, which is far, far, nicer than it sounds; with homemade blackberry and vanilla jam; which is as delicious as the ingredients suggest. All this was washed down with lashings of tea, coffee, and Guinness. Considering the refreshments served, it's an achievement that only one slab was broken all afternoon. I believe there were also no crushed fingertips or toes. Impressive.

A sunlit angel appeared in the corner of the garden and said,
"That one isn't level."

   There was some (wholly warranted) cursing in Spanish, all in regard to one troublesome slab, and there was much laying and then uprooting and re-laying but we did, eventually, get the job done. It was almost dark, and some of us were looking somewhat demonic, but nonetheless Catbird Craft is now prepared for the imminent arrival of the new shed/studio.

"Get off of our land, or we'll chase you with a broom!"

   Before any keen-eyed soul asks...The cat and the bird took the executive decision to not lay a weed barrier beneath the slabs. They decided that they'd rather weeds grew beneath the shed so that toads, gnomes, and other critters have a place to hide. (This week alone two juvenile toads almost come to an end which involved decapitation.) Instead, they will fix the barrier to the underside of the shed's base so that the weeds don't spout through the floor.

    So, in conclusion, what has this experience taught us? Well, the cat has learnt that she absolutely cannot trust the bird's mathematical skills. It was the bird's job to estimate just how many slabs they would need. Her estimations were exactly 50% out - hence the multicoloured final design. We also discovered that a patch of ground may, to the eye, appear to be as level as level can be, when in reality the overworked spirit level says 'wonky'. But the most important lesson that we learnt was that hard graft can be good fun if shared with friends... which is just as well because the shed is now due to arrive this week.

Yes, yes, the shed people have been contacted. The new arrival is expected this week. The delivery company have even promised to call us 24 hours before so that we can summons the troops. Whether this happens remains to be seen but I shall keep you all updated. I will also post more pictures from this weekend on my Facebook page, which can be found HERE

My regards to you all,

Frank

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Progress...of a sort.

Howdy folks!

The lion latrine

  I promised that I would report back on any progress occurring in the world of Catbird Craft. So what's been happening. Well... Sunflowers; Strawberries; May bushes, French lavender, amongst many others, have all been rehomed in various spots about the garden. All except the marigolds appear to have survived.  In their place now lies a rather large dirt patch. (It's bigger than it looks.) I know our (v. lovely) neighbour's curtains will be twitching with curiosity. I can almost hear her muttering, 'Just, what are those girls up to now!' And I know that the local cats, including Claude, must be absolutely wetting themselves with excitement to have such a perfect latrine unexpectedly appear. 
   Knowing the toileting habits of felines, the cat and the bird have been keen to lay the paving slabs, which they lovingly collected from marvellous Essex. This is easier said than done on ground that's as on the level as a con-lib government. Today the spirit level has been much in demand. All was going well until the skies very quickly turned a foreboding grey. You could hear the rain coming before it arrived. The bird commented that it felt a little like the end of the world, and she would be 'most annoyed should the world end before they'd set up the fecking shed.' Yes, that would be very annoying. The heavens did indeed open and we all soon sprinted indoors. The dirt patch currently looks like the love child of Battenberg cake and Edam cheese. When the weather improves and the sun comes out again I will post pictures.

   And what of the shed? As a result of the weather outburst today the paving wasn't completed. Considering this, it's probably just as well that the shed didn't arrive. It was due to be delivered today but, alas, the delivery lorry was overloaded (!) so no delivery today for Catbird Craft. Who knows when it will arrive but they look thankful to have time to finish the preparation. 

I will report back with news..who knows what's going to happen next.

My regards to you,

Frank

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All change...

Howdy folks!

  Frank here! Well, I've had my brandy. Actually I've now had two. And, frankly speaking, I'm rather glad that I'd indulged in the finest of medicinal drinks because, shortly after my last post here, the cat and the bird sat me down to break some news to me.

  We, as in myself, Claude, and Belle, are to be re-homed.  The cat and the bird were very good and reassured us all that it wasn't because we weren't doing our jobs with pride and efficiency. Nonetheless, my rickety knees knocked; Belle's beak quivered; even Claude shed a little liquid latex tear. But the fact remains - Catbird Craft is moving house.

As much as we love our reasonably sized studio in Forest Hill, we understand that it's really not as practical as the cat and bird had hoped it would be. It may not be all that far from home but each journey to travel to and fro, a) takes time, and b) takes headspace. A+B = a drain on valuable productivity resources. The cat is a busy feline who would appreciate a little less city driving in her week, and the bird is somewhat tired and agoraphobic. For both cat and bird, relaxation is the key to being truly creative. So, all in all, when the pros and cons are totted up and the viewers votes have been counted, it makes sense to move studio to somewhere which caters for as many of their needs as possible. Personally, my attitude is that as long as it has a kettle I don't mind where we are.

    So, once I'd asked why, unsurprisingly, my next question was where? And the, somewhat crazy, response I received was this - "Well, we thought we'd move into the backyard...next to the pond."

Well, of course! That absolutely would have been my first choice on new location too.
  Yes, funnily enough, my next enquiry was how. The response - "Well, we thought we'd erect a little shed and use that as a studio instead."...Drat! Now, why didn't I think of that.
  Thankfully, there are solar lights out there, confusing all the moths, so any late night treks back into the flat shouldn't result in any unexpected dips into the pond.

  To make room for the shed there are pretty plants that need to be unceremoniously dug up, and then replanted elsewhere in the garden. They will have new homes, which is good for them. But what about us? We worried that we might not be able to come to the new grotto like studio as it will be small, but we needn't have worried.
   Having discussed it with the cat and the bird, we all think Bell will be happy because there are other birds there, birds just like her. There's even an indoor tree for her to perch in when she's not on duty as the unofficial studio fire alarm.

  However, we are a little concerned about Claude. His permanently aggressive stance does somewhat intimidate the queen of cats, who is already in residence. We fear that she may, quite literally, take chunks out of him. In the likely event that a truce cannot be reached, in an unexpected turnaround, we may now need security for the studio security. If a suitable candidate can't be found then, just like little Harry Potter, Claude will have to live in the cupboard under the stairs.

"And the fifteen points go to Gryffindor"

   There is no spare room so I shall be sleeping on the sofa. I will have access to a television, which means I can watch 'Bones' whenever I like. I will be able to have a hot shower. Oh goodness, I shall be able to bake cakes until my absent heart desires no more. Suddenly, I find myself warming to this change of scenery. It may sound like retirement is appealing to me but fear not. I will continue to report on all the Catbird Craft news at every possible opportunity. I suspect that one of my first posts will involve an update on how it is that the cat and the bird manage to transport shed panels through their small and awkwardly shaped terraced flat. Over the back wall is looking the most likely option. Oh, I can hardly wait to watch this adventure unfold out of a flat pack.

This obviously revises the official launch day of Catbird Craft. We're behind schedule by a month but there will be more information to follow. Apparently, the great launch will involve a party. Count me in!

Now, after this shock announcement I really must have another brandy and a lie down.

My regards to you all,

Frank
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Catbird Craft update

Howdy folks!

    Frank L. Fettle here. Before the cat and the bird start to wonder to why it is they've employed me; I thought it was about time I actually did some work.  So now I shall do some roving reporting from the studios of Catbird Craft.
   It's a busy time right now - the cat has been studying the finer points of biodegradable cello bags.  Her head is swimming with information on rates of decomposition - I know a thing or two about that. Aside from that, the cat has been busy preparing new designs for the upcoming sabbat greeting cards range. I had peek when she wasn't looking, and I think they look fantastic. She's also been painting on canvas, and hopefully some of those paintings will find themselves in the Catbird Craft shop soon.

    Meanwhile, on the other side of the studio, the bird has been busy with latex moulds and stone plaster. So far we have dragons, toads, and candlesticks. Claude has been growling at the sleeping dragons. Thankfully they've ignored him. The new Catbird Craft website is very almost finished now. I know this because the number of expletives muttered per hour has dropped significantly. The near completion of the website means that the bird now has a little more time to prepare for the great skull painting session. I hope she gets on with it soon because it's beginning to look like a natural history museum in here, and Belle is starting to get nervous.

Okay folks, I really must go and stuff a marrow,

My regards to you all,

Frank
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We are family

Howdy folks!

     Frank L. Fettle here again. Another question I'm often asked is 'what's the key to a long and happy life'. It's a simple question but it's one with many differing answers. One thing that comes near the top of my list, (just below the obvious things like a constant supply of oxygen), is good friends. They're worth their weight in cake. I've been incredibly fortunate to have had a constant family of friends throughout my life, most of whom I've outlived. But, for now, I'd like to introduce you to my current companions, Claude and Belle. They both live in the Catbird Craft art studio with me.

Claude - Studio Security

      Claude came from a rescue centre for felines. Within moments of his arrival at the centre it became apparent that his constant aggressive stance would make him a difficult case for re-homing. Being non-recyclable, the poor little fella was facing certain euthanasia at a local rubbish dump. So Catbird Craft offered him a job as studio security. His job description consists of 'deterring unwelcome visitors with the threat of fur and claws'. Although he unnerves any passers by who see him standing in the window, as a general rule, Catbird Craft don't have unwelcome visitors. So, in reality, Claude spends most of his days gazing adoringly at Belle. Claude knows that devouring your friends isn't the done thing so he resists. But we all know that he'd prefer her as a mid-morning snack. We think Claude is happy but it's very difficult to be certain. 

    Belle, (short for Campbell) also came to Catbird Craft via a rescue centre. She was found abandoned and unloved above a fancy dress shop in Clapham. Due to her plastic eyes, Belle's vision is far from perfect. Unfortunately she's also unable to fly, (nylon feathers don't quite give the lift of the real thing). So, unsurprisingly, the corvid hospital who cared for her deemed her wholly unsuitable for release back to the wild. With aviary space at a premium, it's unclear what would have happened to Belle had Catbird Craft not offered her the job of unofficial fire alarm. Aside from the afternoon somebody's new kiln melted she's not been particularly busy since her arrival. So, in reality, her days tend to involve stealing paintbrushes and avoiding Claude. Occasionally I do roller-skate at top speed across Blackheath common with her strapped to my shoulder. It's as close a sensation of flight as we can manage for her. It's not perfect but she appears content.

Anyway, folks. I must go and bake an apple pie.

My regards to you all,

Frank

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